JUST SOME THINGS

This is the poor attempt at comedy i scribbled out last night. This is why i don't do stand-up.

I was up watching the various late night shows last night and it struck me how strange TV can be when it gets to those wee hours of the night. All of the late night hosts sit behind big wooden desks and never give an explanation as to why. They make it so that when someone goes to promote their movie it's like they're at a very important job interview.

i realized recently that a guy can count his beards. Like when you grow it out and then shave it and keep going back and forth over whether it looks cool. really you can say "yea, this is my 16th mustache. I really think I'm going to keep this one"

And what's the deal with drinks at a party? Is the idea that everyone wants to make sure that everyone else is equally plastered? There are always guys going around like "Oh, can I freshen that up for you? Hey, buddy, you need another? Skip, you don't have a drink? you want a drink skip?" Or maybe the idea is just so everyone has something to do at an otherwise useless function. "O well it's been 6 minutes since i swirled my cup and took a sip so i better take another. Hey soon i can go to the bar and get something different!" The next time i go to a party I want to bring a bunch of juice oranges. Then I'll really have something to do. "Hey, you coming to dance?" "Nah, i still have 3 oranges left to squeeze I'll catch up to you after i strain it."

well - that was pretty sad.