Sighmething for the twenty-somethings

Employment. Career. Job. Occupation. Profession. Livelihood. Vocation. Calling.

Those are the synonymous words I came up for when thinking about the idea of having steady work. I preceded to arrange them in order from the most chillingly analytic terms to the softest and most inspiring expressions.
Because that's the idea, right?
We're all trying to find our calling; to practice our vocation; to expound on our livelihood; to impress in our profession.

What we aren't looking forward to is being placed in an occupation; or getting up to go to a job; or deciphering the most prudent career path; and certainly not landing gracelessly in an unfortunate position of employment.

They have career services designed just for this purpose. There are career tests. Career psychiatrists that are licensed to give out slips of paper telling us what we are suited for (along with their usual slips of paper to tell us what drugs will make us less likely to complain about these new jobs.)

There seem to be so few interesting job titles out there. I think that's the reason every other person you ask is studying to be a lawyer or a doctor or a business-person. Good luck with that, by the way. But no one ever says they want to be... oh, i don't know, a catcher in the rye!
Now that was a cool job. Hang out on a hill watch some kids playing baseball and occasional intervene to protect them from their own adorable yet untimely demise.

Just the other day I thought to myself how i would like to be a sneaker designer. Now as you all know from previous posts of my artwork I'm not exactly fully qualified to hold a paintbrush in my hand for a 9 to 5 kind of thing. And yet, there is something a lot more realistically exciting about a designer of graphic footwear then a dulcet accountant.

Keeping with the shoe theme: what if it was someone's job to write out tiny scrolls of information about exotic animals and then roll those tiny scrolls up and stick them in the hard tips of shoelaces (also known as Aglets).

I would like to be employed as the guy who brushes the teeth of all four presidents on mount rushmore. It would probably attract enough tourists to get me a salary and it would be a great conversation starter.

I could run an agency that hires the guys who run out onto sports fields naked and tattoo advertising onto their backs. That is an untapped industry.

Maybe President Obama should hire me to create jobs. My official title would be Head Stimulator. Well there you go - I made a funny.